The August Mars Hoax is back

Though I was kinda surprised that a reasonably intelligent guy at work would believe this story and propegate it all his co-workers in an email, I was not at all shocked to find that my dad has yet again forwarded me the stupidest of chain emails. I've told him personally a million times that these forwarded emails are all bullshit and I've even debunked a few for him, but I guess he still doesn't believe me. So maybe it's time to, instead of forwarding it on down to my friends, reply back to all the poeple that forwarded it on down to me with the most nasty, you're-wrong-and-you're-stupid-and-here's-why email back at them. Maybe one day they'll all stop coming to me, or maybe....just maybe at least my dad will stop his forward button-clicking finger and think, "maybe it's a hoax."

The original malarky reads:

---

WOW!

*Two moons on 27th August 2007*

*27th August; the day the Whole World is waiting for ......

Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August.

It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65 Million miles of earth.
Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons.
The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

---

and had this come from complete strangers I would have gone off of them, but I went easy, replying:

---

Don't believe everything you read! ESPECIALLY if it's in an email fowarded from who knows who. I actually got this one at work, too, and I couldn't believe that anybody actually fell for it.

1. The moon is 2,160 miles in diameter and only 239,000 miles away. Mars is 4,225 miles in diameter but never gets less than 34 MILLION miles away, that's twice as big but 140 times more distant. Mars can never appear anywhere near the size of the moon unless if it were sitting just behind the moon or there were a giant lens out there between us.

2. This date is WAAAAY off. Take a look at the planets' positions on August 27th:
http://www.heavens-above.com/planets.asp?Y=2007&M=8&D=27&H=0&Lat=35.227&Lng=-80.843&Loc=Charlotte&TZ=EST&SZ=600

Mars will actually come closest to Earth in 2007 on December 18th at a distance of 54.9 million miles with an apparent diameter of 15.88 arcseconds and apparent brightness topping off at -1.64. In comparison, a full moon has apparent brightness of -12.6 and the Sun -26.7. The apparent diameter of the moon is a half a degree-- that's 1800 arcseconds or OVER 113 TIMES BIGGER THAN MARS! And this is on an even closer approach than what you've been led to believe!

3. This December date is even not a spectacularly close encounter by any means either. 2003 broke a record for our closet encounter with Mars at 34.6 million miles. For a list, go to:
http://seds.org/~spider//spider/Mars/marsopps.html


The only scrapnel of truth in this chain letter is that there will be another record oppposition in the year 2287 by 34.6 million miles....but even then...no red glow with which to read your newspaper at night.

Even then, I wouldn't believe everything I read.

Family Gay Guy

I just thought this was cute. =)



¿Podemos ver QUÉ?

Simpsons Movie

Tonight at midnight is the opening of the Simpsons Movie across the country and I'm so excited to go see it!

...and I have no one to go with me. *sigh*

I'll go by myself if I have to, bitches.

The Results are In!!

Of all the pictures I uploaded the other night and used in the RockYou slideshow, the bitches at PhotoBucket have banned all but the following TWO ......





Just think of all the other things they blocked: the Barbie doll Kens goin' at it, the similated fisting of Bert and Ernie...Though I should mention they blocked a new upload of this same picture below, the old one still exists...see-through bikini and all. =)



Now that that's over, I'm off to find another site to upload and link to. Any suggestions anyone?

New Zealand Lotto Commercial

Love this! =)

PhotoBucket is Officially Ghey

And I don't mean GAY as in fabulous, I mean GHEY in the 9@m3R, attempt-at-being-non-homo-offending, yet still stupid kind of way.

So get this, PhotoBucket took down my picture of Keanu Reeves' buttocks (if that's really him) from the previous post a few days back, citing that it "violated their terms of service." Bitches, you better believe I'm going to go get me some real service so I can post my nudie pics up on here! And when the hell did you people suddenly get a conscience? Now, I may not be the biggest blogger of pornographic material, simply because it normally doesn't add any content to my blog unless there's a little someting to go with it, but I like to treat the readers to some skin every now and then. Actually, looking back now, I don't think there has ever been any real hardcore nudity...hmm...I'll have to fix that later (along with who hosts my pictures!). But for now, I kind of want to see what the "terms of service" really says about all this, and what better way than to push the envelope with questionable photos!

God, I Hate Nancy Grace

But I like Elizabeth in the control room. =)

Keanu Reeves is gay???

OMG I had no idea! Did you??

Here's the story

Where the hell was I??

Why did this thought never even occured to me?

And why do I think it's a complete farce?

Man Vs. Wild update

I checked out TV-Links.co.uk today and they have updated their Man Vs. Wild archive though I believe it still needs some link-checking. They've added new episodes from Season 2, so I watched him fight through the scorching Kimberly region of Australia during the monsoon while I happily ate my dinner at work.

Maybe the combination was a bad idea....I did learn a few things though.

First, you should know your urine is usually about 95% water and sterile when "fresh" and 98 degrees, salty and warm, but it's a breeding ground for bacteria. This I learned while gulping my tea.

Second, Crucifix spiders are spindley and poisonous, but they're still good for humans to eat! Just crush its head and chew it up so you can taste its brains while it's still writhing around and trying to crawl off your tongue! This I learned while eating my shredded beef.

Of course, after I'd finished eating all the disgusting parts I couldn't watch were over, and I enjoyed the rest of the show. Like, some fences in Australia are over 3,000 miles long?!? Shit! . . . Only four or five more episodes to go. =)

P.S. It's too bad they didn't show him taking his boxers off and wrapping them around his head. They could have blurred his bushman region. They did actually tape him peeing into his canteen and just blurred out his wang chung. I would have LOVED to be part of the production crew that day! (the editor slyly copying the frames to his thumb drive, hehehe)

New 7 Wonders

Out with the old and in with the new! Last night, actually 7/7/07, they announced the New 7 Wonders of the World:

New 7 Wonders of the World

Voting for the 7 Natural Wonders of the world is beginning now.

Honestly, I can't name the previous ones off the top of my head though I'm sure that'd be easy to Google. (Google is not a verb but a registered trademark of the Antichrist.) I guess my biggest beef with all this is who died and made these people the king of the world wonders? How is this official? And what the hell happened to the Great Pyramids? Isn't that the the original???

At least it was an election open to the world. And I kinda voted but not really. I went to their site about an hour before pencils down. I voted. They sent me an email. I waited. It took HOURS for the email to get there. I think I got it the next day actually. Come to find out, now I'm a member, great, but my vote didn't count because I had to go back to their site with the confirmation. Oh well, who cares, really. My god their servers were bogged the fuck down that day. Streaming out video and all...

So as if anyone cares at all...

I half-ass voted for . . . and it made it as a wonder:

Chichén Itzá, Mexico
The Great Wall, China
Machu Picchu, Peru
The Roman Colloseum, Italy
The Taj Mahal, India

I didn't vote for . . . but it made it as a wonder anyway, despite my half-assed efforts:

• Petra, Jordan
  
• Christ Redeemer, Brazil
  

I voted for . . . and it didn't make it as a wonder but rightly should have:

• Statues of Easter Island, Chile
  
• Stonehenge, United Kingdom
  
  And finally WTF is with these nominees?? People are really reachin' for tourism here...
  Eiffel Tower, France
  Statue of Liberty, USA
  Sydney Opera House, Australia
  Timbuktu, Mali
  

It's just struck me that the only thing in the U.S. is the Statue of Liberty, and even I thought that was bullshit that it was even nominated. It's just a freakin' statue. It's not even OURS really. Those lazy, cigarette-holder Frenchies made that teal bitch for us ages ago. And other than her, we have nothing to show for ourselves in this country ....
... the Golden Gate Bridge?
... the Empire State Building?
... the Paul Bunyon statue in North Dakota?
... the 5-foot ball of rubber bands in Oregon?

We got nothin'.

Another Gay Videoblog

I'm YouTubing tonight (again) and I found a couple more clips for ya. This first one is from the movie Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, where Just Jack, I mean Sean Hayes, is an amateur photographer/filmographer (?? it's been a while) living in L.A. and meets this gorgeous guy (Brad Rowe) who agrees to pose for him. The whole time poor Jackie struggles to keep her hands off of him and there's this big mystery behind whether or not he's gay, bi, or just friendly with the gays he's met...and all this kinda culminates here at this scene. It's a lovely little movie all you fags should go rent or at least just download it illegally and watch it sometime. =)



I don't even know how to introduce this one. Maybe it'll remind some of you boys about your early confused years. Just watch it. =)

More YouTube Hilarity

Two more poor straight guys struggle to prove to the world that they're not gay...and struggle with their own self-doubts, I pressume...

That was Random

So I randomly stumbled upon a bookmark I'd saved YEARS ago when everyone in school called me Dick. This was in the early days before they started getting creative and started calling me Dictronix and Dichard, all good stuff. Nowadays, people call me Rich, Richie, and Ricardo more often than Richard, but I also get Paco, Papi, and Ma'am from more fabulous characters. =)

Anyway, I digress. This webpage, apparently unchanged in nearly a decade, takes a randomly supplied word from you the visitor and displays random slogans. Most are company slogans embedded in our brains from overexposure to commercials, but I couldn't tell you where some of these come from. Here, try it out for yourself:

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

Naturally, at the time I put in my name Dick for it's unambiguous alternate meaning, and it's supplied some of the most humorous of slogans. So without further ado, here's tonight's Top Ten List:

#10. I'm Not Just a Dick, I'm a Member.
#9. Sometimes You Feel Like a Dick, Sometimes You Don't.
#8. You'll Wonder Where the Yellow Went When You Brush Your Teeth With Dick.
#7. Hungry? Why Wait? Grab a Dick.
#6. I Can't Believe I Ate The Whole Dick.
#5. I'm Only Here For The Dick.
#4. There's Always Room For Dick.
#3. When You've Got Dick, Flaunt It.
#2. Just for the Taste of Dick.

...and the number one slogan...

#1. Because So Much Is Riding On Your Dick.

Reunited and It Feels So Good

I got call Monday morning at 5am (I was still awake of course) from US Scareways saying they've finally received my luggage from phuckin Pittsburgh. I drove to the airport immediately to pick it up. I was so excited and freakin' relieved after sweating the cost of having to buy some of that stuff all over again. Ugh, I'm such a material girl. *blush*