New Word!

Swordfight!

Mythbuster material

My dad forwarded this in an email to me. (He's always sending me junk mail, and I hate it 90% of the time.)

Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end.
Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).
Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!"

Now, I had my dad try this from the other end of the house while I stood next to the car in the garage. We did get the trunk and doors to unlock, though I have my doubts that we weren't far enough for it not to work normally, and the damn remote didn't work in the garage! So, our tests were inconclusive in the end. I mean, it's all radio waves, so why shouldn't it work?

Has anybody heard of this?? Let me know if you try it!

Okie Dokie then!

Frickin' hilarious!



If you've never seen Fargo, you should! Here's a little preview...

Reminds me of my boss

New Game

Ok, so I found this new game online:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/07/unfolding.html

I'm up to 786,000 points after whopping level 13. =)

I just wish one could SAVE the damned thing!

New Drool Pics

Form whaaaaat?

I generally consider myself an intelligent person..........but tonight I did my taxes. I used TurboTax and all, but still...with every click almost, I'm going, "What the hell are they talking about?" Mom said it should be easy for me; if I didn't recognize it, then it probably didn't apply to me.

I called in dad for backup. Turns out, I had to few things to figure out. First, I had car expenses incurred while working at Domihos, mileage, gas, etc. Then I had student loan interest to total up. Then I had to find out how much I'd pumped into my new job's medical benefits package. THEN I had to figure up how much went into the 401K.

It wasn't terrible, but it did take me 4 or 5 hours....just enough to kinda make you wish you were an illegal. On the bright side, in 9 days I can blow all the money, hehe.

Good bye Anna Nichole

Born Vickie Lynn Hogan, Nov. 28, 1967.
Died Anna Nichole Smith, Feb. 8, 2007.

Some people are sad and feel sympathetic toward her, saying she struggled with many hardships in her life and used drugs and alcohol to cope with them. Others said they didn't much care for her and paid little attention. Others while she was alive said some terrible things about her, even calling her a "violent, drunken coke whore" as to promote the roast of Pamela Anderson on Comedy Central. Some are comparing her to Marilyn Monroe and her short, some say similar, life. Still others are calling for Sir EJ, as I lovingly call him, to rewrite the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" to commemorate her life.

Here are mine. I hope you enjoy.


Good bye Vickie Lynn,
Though I never cared for you at all.
You had the guts to grab youself
While those around you gasped.
You crawled out of the tablecloth,
And they whispered out your name.
They put you on Comedy Central,
And for its scandal you they blamed.

And it seems to me you pissed your life
like a coke whore on a binge,
Never knowing who to flip the bird to
When the camera cringed.
And I would've liked to know you,
But no I just lied.
Your fan club burned up long ago.
Your legend just did.


*plays piano interlude............ducks from flying beer bottle*

The Saga Continues

More firsts....

Kyle comes down for a surprise visit to my apartment one weekend. I we lived in a 5-bedroom apartment, and there were always people over. Neighbors and friends were over drinking, watching tv. Some had come down for the weekend as well. We're all sitting in the living room chillin'. He bursts in the door and we're all, "Heeeeeey!! What's up, Kyle!? What're you doing here?"

"I just dropped in for the weekend to say what's up to every one," he says. After a few minutes hanging out, he asked everyone if anyone wanted to see a movie. Now our college was in a small town, so the only theatre in town is a one-theatre, one-seating type deal. Any time you want to go see a movie, you usually go to the next town's mall and see one there. I just wanted to hang out with my buddy again, cuz I didn't get to see him that often, so I said I would. There may have been one or two other people that said they wanted to go but later backed out. So, off we went, just me and him, and I couldn't be happier, hehe.

We stopped and got a bite to eat and headed out of town. I forget what movie we saw, but I vividly remember getting out of the theatre, and it was dark. He asked if there were any cool places to go in town.

Flashing back for a moment, I remembered our late-night trip to the mountain near his house. I won't mention the specific really cool place we went to see. (Just ask me and I'll tell ya all about it.) But I will tell ya afterward we went along the mountain ridge a bit and stopped at a favorite place of his. We stopped in the middle of the wooded mountain side and pulled off the road. He led me on the other side of a small metal gate and we followed a long wide gravel road in the moonlight about a half mile long. Turning into the woods, he led me down a rugged overgrown path toward a radio tower. Near the tower was a large open area complete with blackened, stone-encircled fire pit and beer bottles strewn about. Beyond this through thick woods stood a rocky precipice overlooking a hundred-foot sheer drop facing another a few hundred yards away. The land between slopped downward and spread out into the valley in which lay the twinkling town we had left. Quite a magnificent site it was to behold! I nervously crept toward the edge of the rocky cliff while he jumped down to lower cantilevering slabs to sit on the edge and kicked his feet excitedly, gazing out at the web of lights. On the way back down the mountain he shared with me his love of singing, and he has a great voice, too, as he sang Sir Elton John's "Why They Call It the Blues."

Remembering back to this moment, I longed to share this experience with him again, especially in light of recent developments. So when he asked, I took the opportunity and told him there was a similar place there I'd once been. We went up the steep road to the mountain top.....and we looked....and looked. My memory failed me, and we couldn't find the exact spot I had once been before and saw the town glittering a thousand feet below me. But we did eventually find a spot. It was a culdasac on an empty road as they were making plans to develop the area though we could see the town through the thin autumn foliage that flowed down the hillside. We parked and walked to the edge again. We talked a bit and looked out at the valley below...again.

We walked back and sat in the car for a minute. He didn't start the engine. Instead he reached over and grabbed my crotch and rubbed it. It got me hard almost immediately. He started to unzip and I went for his package myself. He was already hard. We unzipped each other completely and pulled our shorts down a bit so we could stroke each other. I had a nice hard, slow stroke going on him, and he was raging hard. Somehow I forgot completely that he was stroking me, though hard I remained, and I just became completely entranced at the sight of his cock -- the rigid feel of it, the shape of it, the color and shape of the head, how the head curved around and connected in the most sensitive area. Before I knew it, he said, "you're getting awfully close there," and I realized my face was mere inches away from gleeming slit. I went for it. I put it in my mouth and felt it on my tongue...his skin on my lips....his warm cock in my mouth. It was my first time doing it, rather unexpectedly, too, but I think he quite enjoyed it. He was hard as a rock the whole time and still stroking me, keeping me hard. He had me slow down and stop at times for lack of a towel, but I yearned to keep sucking it. I craved it. Finally, I offered my sock for him to cum into. He took me up on the offer and let me damn near suck him off until he needed the sock to cum inside at the last second.

With his hand on my hard cock, he asked for me to get out of the car with him. We got out. I met up with him again on his side--him buttoning his jeans and me just trying to keep mine up with my woody hanging out. "I wanna get you off now," he said as he grabbed my cock in his hand and grinned at me. He got a grip and continued to stroke it. We positioned ourselves so that he was directly behind me; he was stroking my cock as if it were his. Faster and harder he jerked me until I had to prop a hand on his car to sturdy myself. It got me sooo horny being in front of him like that with him beating me off. I started griding my ass into his crotch, grabbing at his ass with my free hand. He pounded at my cock harder and harder until I squirted a few times on the pavement....He offered to get me new socks, hehe.

We get home, back to my place, and it's been quite a while since we left. I made no excuses and went straight up to my room. He hung around downstairs and chatted with whomever for a bit. I wasn't sitting in my room for five minutes before he shows up at my down, quietly walks inside with an evil grin on his face and locked the door behind him. He walks over to me and unzips my pants, saying that he wished he'd done "this" earlier. He got out my cock and knelt down in front of me. Before I knew it he was sucking my dick and motioning for me to get on the bed. I layed down at the edge of the bed and he went to town sucking my dick and playing with it again. He looked like he was really enjoying it, too. I definitely enjoyed it. Even though it was probably only 45 minutes since the last time, I think it was the circumstances that got me so hot again. He licked and sucked and jerked me until I had to tell him I was cumming. Then he lifted up my shirt and made me cum on my chest. No sooner did we clean up and open door than did one of our friends come up and see us.

Still more, bitches!!

Tears

Tears! tears! tears!
In the night, in solitude, tears,
On the white shore dripping, dripping suck'd in by the sand,
Tears, not a star shining, all dark and desolate,
Moist tears from the eyes of a muffled head;
O who is that ghost? that form in the dark, with tears?
What shapeless lump is that, bent, crouch'd there on the sand?
Streaming tears, sobbing tears, throes, choked with wild cries;
O storm, embodied, rising, careering with swift steps along the beach!
O wild and dismal night storm, with wind--O belching and desparate!
O shade so sedate and decorous by day, with calm countenance and regulated pace,
But away at night as you fly, none looking--O then the unloosen'd ocean,
Of tears! tears! tears!

Walt Whitman

Aussie YUM!!

All that AND he calls himself a

versatile TOP!

*fans myself with church bulletin*

Just Pitiful

Windows releases its new OS, X, I mean Vista!!

A some of you may know, I recently attended a conference hosted by Microsoft here in Charlotte that introduced us developers and free-loaders alike to Microsoft's newly released Vista operating system. (They also gave us all a free full copy of Office 2007 which I was all too happy to take.) But the main focus was Vista, and being in the developer's track, they really dug right into the nitty-gritty of Vista, something I won't be sharing with you all, because, well, it was all a bit of a yawner.

Instead, I want to tell you some of the new features of Windows Vista.

• Its January 20, 2007 release comes just 5 years after Window's last OS release of XP, only the longest gap ever. (Much of the development occurred at their Charlotte office.)
  
• Huge emphasis and lots of money poured into "user experience" to make the interface prettier.
  
• Mircosoft announced however that its main objective was to improve security for virus-trojan-worm-phishing-spam-plagued PCs ... a decision that led to a quite annoying new feature that led to Apple poking fun in a new commercial. Not surprisingly, previous to the release of Vista, beta users discovered anyone could remote/HACK into their Vista machine if they only knew the Administrator password (which is blank or "password" 90% of the time). Immediately AFTER Vista's release, Internet gamers discovered their favorite Massive Multiplayer Online Games were completely BLOCKED by Vista's enhanced security.
  
• Windows Search is introduced. It's a single textbox that searches your entire hard drive for what you type in. Sounds like a great idea, huh? It was even better when Apple designed it as Spotlight ages ago.
  
• Gadgets. Otherwise known as Apple's Widgets which Apple unveiled in their OSX last year.
  
• Internet Explorer version 7 with its "tab browsing" used in various other Internet browsers for years, but finally included in IE.
  
• Windows Calendar. Looks eerily like Apple's version in OSX.
  
• Windows Photo Gallery. Pretty much an absolute rip-off of Apple's iPhoto.
  
• Windows Media Center. Poorly mimics what Apple laptops let you do...only Windows doesn't come with a remote ... Hope you got all your codecs!
  

OK, I know what you're thinkin'. I'm being too hard on Windows for all its obvious rip-offs and eventual downfalls. After all, it did take 5 long, hard years to develop a handful of the features of OS X.

I just wanted to share with ya what this guy has to say...he's trying hard!



I LOVE this one!
The guy talking is doing a recent Vista demonstration much like the one I went to see, except the video (with the exception of one famous blue screen) is entirely from a Mac.



No matter how much you try to sell this thing, it always craps out during the demonstration...





I think it's time for this long-time PC user to

I can just see you on QVC now, just a-

- Get Your Own

There's a first time for everything!

This is my first time....

Thanksgiving break 2001.

It's a freezing cold first day off from college in the mountains of southwest Virginia. (Beautiful area by the way). My parents and I were making plans to have Thanksgiving dinner together of course....but I screwed up all those plans that year much to their continued questioning, but BOY am I GLAD I did! I was under the impression that they were driving up to Maryland where my brother lived so we could have Thanksgiving dinner with them there when really they had just come BACK from there and were going to have it here in Charlotte without them apparently. Everyone I knew lived in a small town in northern Virginia and were headed up there, so I figured, what the hell, I'd ride with them and the parents can pick me up... Long story short, I'm an idiot and I got stranded up there.

I hung out with a few of the friends while I was up there and enjoyed the time off. One of my good friends of 3 years Kyle (names have been changed to protect the "straight") saw I was in a bind and offered to take me in for the week. He'd just gotten a new apartment in a nearby town but was staying at his parents' house for the weekend in their finished basement. There were a couple bedrooms downstairs, a bath, a TV and living area. Each night he got out the air mattress and and some blankets for me to sleep on and set me up in the floor of his basement bedroom, which was the only space large enough to lay it out.

We got drunk together...almost every night. I was still 20 at the time, so we drank in his dad's basement. One particularly cold night his parents had the furnace in the basement CRANKIN' to heat up the whole house, and it make it HOT downstairs. We were sittin' there killing Miller Lites and watching [straight] cheesy porn on the TV....The clothes started to shed, because it was so freakin' HOT in there! I eventually made it down to my boxers (as I was still a boxers boy back in those days). After chugging the beer he pours us Jaggermeister. I was so drunk the shit tasted like PEPSI! (Nevermind I hate Pepsi.) So we were sloppily pouring shot after shot until I'm flopped down on the barcalounger...with my cock hanging out of my boxers for all to see. I remember noticing and not caring, lol....maybe even encouraging it to show its full length even, hehe.

I don't know how he was able to, but he picked me up out of the chair and carried me to the bathroom, banging my head into the door frame on the way, of course. I later learned that in the time I spent purging "Pepsi" in the bathroom, his mom, having heard the commotion downstairs as she was getting ready to go to work in the early morning, came down to find Kyle laying in bed awake and asked about me. He said I was sick; she thought nothing of it and went back upstairs. Kyle soon came in to check on me. (Thinking back on it now, he must not have been as drunk as me. =P ) He helped me up and brought me to sleep in his bed with him, since we were in no condition to set up the air mattress now. And I fell fast asleep.

He took me to his work and I hung out there and amused myself. We went to check out his new crib and say hello to his puppy dogs. (We'd all lived with those dogs at the apartment in college for a year and grew fond of them.) I had dinner with him and his family and friends over at some relative's house. We spent lots of time over at his apartment in town, and he put me up in the guest bedroom with the puppies.

One night he complains that his back has been killing him. He strained it wrestling this rather large friend of ours, and I saw him do it, too. He definitely strained it. So I offered to rub his back. He had a big ole knot that I think I eventually worked out. It took some doing. I had him take of his shirt and lie flat on the bed as I straddled him. I rubbed his lower back which was really killing him and also his upper back, shoulders, arms. He said I did a great job at it and offered to massage mine as he felt better afterward. I'm not one to turn down a back rub, so we switched places. He was good at it, too. I think it had a lot to do with us being very comfortable with each other after being friends for so long, and though this had never happened between us, it felt natural. I took him up on his offer and slept in his bed that night. There was no reason to make up the other bed, and besides, we enjoyed each other's company and didn't bother the other's sleep, so why not?

The next day was a LAZY Sunday. We ordered a pizza delivered and played video games....and more back rubs, hehe. Both in our boxers and rubbing each other again, he began to get a little experimental on me. He'd sit on my upper thighs, rubbing in circles the butt muscles on both sides of the coccyx, which drove me numb with pleasure. I could tell from the periodic missing hand and elastic sound that he was constantly adjusting himself in his boxers to "point north" so he wouldn't poke me and give himself away, I guess. Underneath, my erection was being ground into the bed. At times I was sure it was showing from out behind my boxers. He found out that I like a little bit of a rough massage at times when he used lots of friction. We really got into it and massaged each other's chests, legs, and even butts sometimes as we were both getting more and more horny by the minute.

Finally, I'm laying on my side and him on his back. I'm lightly rubbing his back up and down in long strokes, just exhausted from all the fun. He rolls over on his side facing me and starts to rub my chest. I begin rubbing his. He starts to rub lower and lower with each pass, eventually rubbing over my boxers also. I start to get hard....he rubs his way into the elastic band and begins to explore. He wallows my cock and balls around in his hand, smiling at me and making some comments on my size. I finally drum up the courage to do the same. I feel his got a nice size cock and pretty big balls. He takes my hardening cock out of my boxers and looks at it for the second time. I lay eyes on his for the first. He starts stroking me, looking between my cock and my eyes for constant feedback. I feel him getting hard in my hands, and I stroke him, too. He comments that he's never done anything like this before, and I second that. He gets me harder; blood's rushing to my cock and filling it up fast. The sight of it gets him harder and harder in my hand. I realize that I'd been so horny all day and that now I can finally show it. He's absolutely lovin' it; I can tell by the way he keeps staring in my eyes and watching my cock intently. I'm hard as a rock now from being horny all day and this boy's got a firm fist wrapped around my cock and bumping it into my balls with each stroke. I follow his lead. Soon he reads my face and knows I'm about to shoot. He points my cock to my face and pumps the cum out of me. It sprays all over my chest, not to mention shooting over my head to the floor behind me. I sit up and finished him off with a tight stroke that pounded into this tight but still large balls, making him splooge all over his chest and stomach.

We both took to the shower together and cleaned each other off. We got dressed, and he drove me back to school. The ride back was a little bit awkward, since neither one of us had ever done that sort of thing before and didn't know what to think, much less say. But something he said made me think there might be more in store for us -- he said he wouldn't be opposed to trying new things again, but it would depend on the guy....and I knew I was that guy. =)

... To Be Continued, Bitches!!

Mama is full of surpises!

So at dinner tonight, the discussion leads to one of my older brothers, his wife and their son, Danny. Now, Danny's parents, bless their hearts, are the most . . . overprotective parents of their little Danny. He's the classic skinny 10-year old pictured on his bike with the helmet, gloves, elbow pads, knees pads, 'cause God forbid anything should happen to rough him up. One time we were all on a mountain hike and Danny fell (while walking) and skinned open his knee and had to be damn near air-lifted to the hospital. Lol. I believe they gave him a whole three stitches!! The horror!!

Anyway, Mom told me about the time they were touring the nation's capital on a HOT July afternoon, and it's aaaallll daaaay loooong. They all get boarded back on the crowded trolley-like thing, my mom seated next to Danny who's on the end. And Danny starts to complain, 'cause he's in direct sunlight. . . He bitches. He moans. There's some talk of switching seats between my mom and his. More whinning. Then my mom goes into Mama Mode and says,

"Danny! . . . Suck it up!"

Not a peep was heard from him after that!

Hee hee hee

*flashing back to the present dinner conversation now*

Moments later . . .

Mom sighs and covers her eyes . . . I look behind me and see this guy with his pants hanging BELOW his ass. (Thankfully his shirt covered his acual ass.) WHY people do that, I don't know. Why they are trying to be "gansta" by not purchasing a belt and risking indescent exposure at every stride, I'll never know. At least my mom waits until after dinner when we're in the privacy of our own home to reveal (and I quote directly), "I saw his balls, okay!! He dropped something, bent down to pick it up, and I saw his balls . . . something no one should have to see when they're eating dinner!"

. . . Yeah.

Here's a guy that thinks like me!

I have to admit...every bit of this guy's article

Extended iTunes Rating

sounds exactly like something I would do. All the way from the zip disks comment, through the testing his theory with a program and finally plotting the results on a graph.

And Richie would like to add his own little note:
Since the relationship is NOT linear and randomly similar within each 20-point star group....why bother getting that granular? Just use the stars! You'll get the same results either way. A 99-point song won't play any more often than a 90-point song....and that's my two cents.

Happy Birfday to me! =P

Today I turn 26 years old. Me and the parents visited the natural history museum. I petted a domesticated alligator ... I passed up on the snake. Saw a T-Rex skeleton, a "Lucy" replica ... found out they named her Lucy because the anthropologists were listening to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" at the site when they discovered her....hippies! Hehe.

Mom fell asleep in the planetarium! I heard her over there startin' the SNORE during the part about the Orion constellation! We learned where to see some interesting things in the night sky....Orion, the Seven Sisters, Pegasus, the Andromeda galaxy (which I had no idea where to find), Vega, Leo, Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars. It was NEAT!! We stumbled into the light and stuffed our faces with Cracker Barrel food. Cake is on its way! =)

Their shirts are awesome.

I got some strong words for ya!!

According to a new report released by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, humans are "very likey" making the earth warmer, calling it a 90% chance that global warming was caused by humans. This is the strongest language used by the Panel since 2001 when they said that humans were "likely" to be the cause for global warming.

Well I've got some "strong language" for the Panel....


NO FUCKING SHIT!!!

We've known we were pumping dangerously high levels of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases into the atmosphere since the 60s and 70s. We've known our hurricanes have gotten worse. We've known the polar ice caps are melting at an alarming rate that's now accellerating; they're due to be melted in a couple decades. We know that the ice shelves are breaking off in chunks the size of fucking states now. We've known that we've done close to jack shit to slow down our release of CO2 into the air. Hell, we're fucking invading the Middle East so we can keep it up! AND we're bulldozing down all the fucking trees so we can never rid ourselves of the existing carbon dioxide buildup! We, the United States and largest polluter in the world, even told the UNFCCC, the writers of the Kyoto Protocol, to go FUCK themselves! So we LIED and said we were going to take baby steps toward reducing our greenhouse gas emissions but instead made fucking SUVs that get 14mph out-of-factory!! My neice's little Barbie jeep is fucking gas powered for fuck's sake!!

Solar power has become MUCH more efficient in recent years. Wind energy in the central plains alone could be self-sustaining if we would attempt to use it. Ethanol-powered cars are CHEAP now! Many vehicles are capable of 40mph now. People! Stop buying your 2-space-taking, super-sized, SU-status-symbols-Vs and get something you can spend less money filling up and even park! God forbid you all get your fat McAsses out there and WALK across the street! It's right there!

I hope Hillary gets TWO terms in office so she can start all the plans she has to address all these issues. Hopefully she won't have to spend too much time cleaning up our current President's fucking disgraceful mess we're in.

How big of a loser am I !!

This Saturday is my birfday. I'm turning 26. Everybody wish Geek Boi a happy 26th! Another remider that I'm now firmly a "twenty-something" yuppie boi.

And what is it that I've planned to do for my birthday?

....No, not be sandwhiched between two boiz (though that's a great idea)...

I'm going to the

PLANETARIUM!!

I'm such a loser geek, but I'm so exicted. It's like I'm 6 years old and clutching my first solar system book in my arms again! This is the only planetarium in the entire Charlotte area, but it's in Gastonia of all places. Sure, there's a 3-story IMAX theatre in downtown Charlotte, but those bitches play fuckin' Disney movies on that shit and NEVER EVER use that celestial sphere in the center for its intended purpose! (I'm a little bitter about that if you can't tell.)

Anywho, they're running a few shows that day, and they all run about 45-minutes, so why not catch all three?!

First is one about the SIZE of the universe. Hopefully they will mention the most recent theory that the universe just so happens to be expanding at a rate just barely fast enough to prevent it from collapsing on itself....or is it that it will continue to expand forever?...This was the discussion brought up at work tonight. We both agreed that no one yet really knew for sure.

Second, there's a show on Orion, which has always been an alluring constellation in the winter sky.

And finally there's a show on ALL of the winter's night sky, so I can remember again what it is that I'm looking at all the time.

I know you're all jealous! =P